It's time to play the classic Paris game:
"Leaf, Mud, Wet Cardboard or Shit?!"
Can you identify, from only a passing glimpse out of the corner of your eye, the true nature of that dark form that lies on the pavement beneath you? Do you know when to step lightly? When to hop daintily? When to tread with impunity? When to cross the street altogether?? Can you do it all while navigating the hordes of people with their strollers, umbrellas, grocery trolleys and shockingly well-dressed children? Most importantly, can you make it look like you don't care anyway?
Take the LMWCOS?! Challenge!
Situation 1:
Uh Oh! Brown spot ahead!
Answer:
On closer inspection: Just a leaf!
Situation 2:
Small, brown, gross looking...
Answer:
Also a leaf! Tricky!
Situation 3:
Smears: always difficult to identify!
Answer:
Just Mud! Don't worry about it.
Situation 4:
Another tricky one: footprints.
Don't follow in someone's shitty ones!
Answer:
Merely mud!
Situation 5:
Small dog? Dried and previously flattened?
Answer:
Weird looking leaf!
Situation 6:
Another smear. Good luck!
Another clue nearby.
Answer:
Shit!! Avoid!!!!!
Situation 7:
This one's a wild card!
Answer:
Leaf? No! Well, yes, kind of-
Wet tobacco!
Situation 8:
A series of lumps!
How about a closer look?
Shit, right?
Answer:
Wrong! Wet cardboard!
Lia steps without fear!
Thanks for playing!
Keep your head up and your shoes clean.
Stepping in shit is only good luck for other people.
The best laugh I've had all day! Cool boots, sister!
ReplyDeleteHa, nice. Hope you're having the time of your life! I don't advise you visit India or Bangladesh, though, as your analytical circuits will be fried trying to identify every brown lump and smear. :-) Jolie
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